If you’re secretly Googling “I am embarrassed about my freelance career,” in the middle of the night or obsessing over what your peers think of you, I want you to know that you’re alright — and not alone.
Open LinkedIn and you’ll see hundreds of happy, smiling freelancers. They’re all winning and booked and busy. Or at least, that’s how they want to appear.
Sadly, freelance shame is real. It can be especially strong when your income does not match what other people expect, or when your family asks, “When are you going to get a real job?”
However, I’m here to let you know that it doesn’t mean you are failing.
I’ve experienced embarrassment about my career, and if anything, I want this blog to help you feel less alone. Here’s what I’ve learned.
Why Freelance Shame Happens
Freelancing is different from a traditional job, and that difference can make people feel ashamed. But if you’re here, you don’t need me to tell you this!
Other common reasons for freelance embarrassment include:
- Unpredictable income — Many months are good, and some months are difficult. I know that in months when I earn less than average, I feel touchier about my career choices.
- Family misunderstandings — When parents or siblings dismiss your work as “playing on the computer,” it is easy to feel invisible as a freelancer.
- Society’s expectations — Society often measures adulthood by office jobs or titles. Freelancers do not always fit into these expectations, which can feel discouraging, especially when you’re explaining your job to non-freelance friends.
Real Freelancers, Real Struggles
Consider a young designer who works on small freelance projects.
She lives at home and contributes what she can to rent and groceries, but her family still calls her unemployed. She works long hours and constantly looks for new projects. Despite her effort, it can feel like nothing is enough.
Does this sound familiar? Maybe you need to change the industry, but I bet many of you feel this way. I did — and I’m a freelance writer. I felt like people judged me because it looked like I wasn’t doing anything but playing around on my laptop.
Whatever the situation, a bit of freelance stress or embarrassment is normal. It does not mean she is doing something wrong, rather it reflects how society often undervalues nontraditional work and how family expectations can be hard to navigate.
However, if the emotion starts to control your thoughts or stop you from feeling good, it might be time to take a closer look at the situation.
How to Handle Feeling Embarrassed About Your Freelance Career
At points, I have really suffered from feeling embarrassed about my career.
I know for me, it was really triggered by friends and family who kept asking if I was making enough money. I was (and still am), but this didn’t take away the feelings.
Here are some ways to cope with freelance shame:
- Be kind to yourself — Your work is real, even if it does not pay like a corporate job yet. Every client project completed shows skill and persistence.
- Track your progress — Write down the projects you complete and the skills you develop. Seeing your work in writing can remind you that your efforts matter. I even have a folder that’s filled with screenshots of client compliments.
- Set small goals — Focus on your progress rather than comparing yourself to relatives or social media.
- Explain your work to others — Sometimes people do not understand freelancing. A simple explanation of what you do and how much effort it takes can help. *
- Consider a hybrid approach — If finances are tight, a part-time job or side work can help while you continue to grow your freelance career.
* As a caveat to 4. — it’s also important to remember that if you don’t feel up to it, you also don’t have to waste time and energy explaining your career. It’s up to you.
Final Thoughts
Feeling embarrassed about your freelance work isn’t great, but unfortunately, it’s normal(ish).
I’ve spoken to many freelancers who have also felt these emotions, and it’s one of the biggest topics that the self-employed community tends to gloss over.
Hopefully, this article has given you a little reassurance. It’ll all be alright, just keep working hard and showing up for clients. But if it starts to feel overwhelming, it might be time to discuss these feelings with a counsellor or other professional.
Need some help? Keep reading The Freelance Balance blog for more guides.